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My heart splits with maturity. [entries|friends|calendar]
Mae

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(Lies)

Do you even realize how much I am over the bullshit? [25 Aug 2007|08:24pm]
Somebody just put me out of my insanity!!!
I don't wanna have to care about caring anymore and for the most part I don't.

The only thing I even care to care about is my job. I love my job more then anything. And the people I have made friends with while there. Have already helped me more then they know.

I need a happy medium in my life that isn't illegal.
The only thing I wanna do I shouldn't do, but i do. Yeah figure that shit out.

Whatever. Whats the sense in bitching to live journal? I'm going to the park with a notebook and a strong sense of suicide.

(2 | Lies)

Ello Ello [24 Jul 2007|01:08am]
Umm Im in Kentucky right now with my Dad and my sister. I quit Big Boy thank god they fuckin suck. I got my lip and my nose re-pierced. I start my new Job with the Cognitivally Impaired on August 7th I'm super excited. But as it turns out I am probably moving I need to get the fuck out of Michigan for good. Brian and I are nothing now. Thank god he got really wierd and now I don't even talk to him. I guess that part sucks but all well. I still dig his friend Karl he is super cute. But I can't start anything cause the likelyhood of me staying in MI for more then a couple months is slim to none. I'm just gonna take this job for a little bit get the experience I need then move with my dad. Today he is going for a job interview in Knoxville, Tenneessee. But then he also has another interview to be an electrician for Budwieser in San Fransisco!!! And if he goes there I am gone for good, without a doubt in my mind. Anyways livejournal is overrated and no one goes on here anymore anyways. Back to Myspace.

(Lies)

Nothing falls into place lately. [30 Jan 2007|12:15am]
I need a whole new job that is gonna schedule me like overtime. I need to get the fuck out of Big Boy's I'm not making any money there and all the managers fuckin suck! I have nothing to talk about currently other then how much I hate my job. Sunday was interesting though, despite the fact that I totally hated the world Mark made me laugh pretty hard when we were fighting and he pinned me against the wall. heh. Everyone thinks I like Mark..but I don't think I do. Like I said if he didn't have 3 kids and if he had all his teeth I just might consider. But no. I called Brian this evening to see if he wanted to hang out but he didn't answer and by the time he called back I was already getting on the freeway and I was like "no eff you" Yeah I told him! I slept until like 2 o'clock today I felt like such a bum.
Its almost February..I don't think this is going to be a good month. On the 17th I start house sitting for a month...and for the duration I get to drive my g-ma's gold mini van. Thats like a fucking punch in the face. eww. I wanna die thinking about it.ugh.

I don't feel like typing anymore.

(Lies)

Ummmm ooops I can't believe I did that..... [26 Jan 2007|05:18pm]
So last night was okay. I couldn't get Brian to come over Danielle's even though her parents were out of town for the night..But umm we sat in the car for bit and talked and then I kissed him good-bye. Nothing big. But like I was telling Danielle today, Brian needs to be broken out of his shell cause all he wants to do is sit home and its okay sometimes but now cause my Aunt will drive by and if she see's me there...DEAD. And umm thats not okay. SO anyways, ummmm. I need something to do tonight..BLAAAHHH!

(Lies)

It's hard t believe that theres nobody out there. [25 Jan 2007|12:17pm]
Ugh. So right now I am supposed to be at Pita. Cause last night when I came home I told my aunt I had to work at eleven thirty and she was like okay I woke up at ten call at like ten forty five cause I'm like "oh shit, where is she?" Yeah she said she wasn't coming back cause she already did and I was sleeping and she didn't wanna wake me and blah blah lies! She didn't leave the house till nine thirty and she never came back! ugh. So I called aunt Lori to tell her that I couldn't come in and she told me that I can't work days anymore till I get a car, and now I can only work nights at Pita on nights I have off from Big Boy.

I wanna fucking die :(

But a las! Last night Danielle, Ryan, and I went to Brian's and sat around and chatted and Brian pulled me in the bedroom to show me how he put the winter quilt on his bed. It was so cuuute. So I got him on the bed and started kissing him. lol. All I wanted to do last night was fool around. But when I got off Pita last night I went to Big Boys to get Danielle. But I wanted to go in and see Mark and I was so excited to see him I kind of ignored Brian, hehe.
So tonight I work 5-9 at Big Boy and so does Brian. And Danielle gets off at ten, so that means Brian and I will hang till she gets offff. :-D

But just so were aware..I'm still in a bad mood.

(Lies)

I'm cold as cold as cold can be. [24 Jan 2007|02:20pm]
Snow flutters, life lingers, bad thoughts hinder. Just another day I strive to live.

Ugh. I really thought living here would be better. But the fact that my aunt listens to my mom kills me. I have this thought in my head about how I want to move into those green valley apartments by myself (once I get my car back that is) So that this way I can just have a place to call my own. And like I wil get my car insured and then never drive it. Like I could totally walk to work. And I know I would be better off cause now I have just realized that it wasn't my mom I couldn't stand its just the rules I'm not one to abide by rules and I can't do it anymore. And then when I get my apartment I will have what I always wanted::A place to call my own. Thats it. Thats all I want. And I'm totally content being a waitress forever :( ...Talk about being ambitious. hah! I just don't wanna wake up ever again and go, "Wow I made it through the night, FUCK!"

And as far as Brian goes. I don't know. He's like a high school boy. He has crazy mood swings and some days are good and others are not. Last week sucked. Last night was great. I love catching him by suprise. I hate the fact that all I wanna do is spend my time with him. Although the last few days I've been not thinking about him cause I didn't talk to him all weekend even though I called like three times. But then of course last night he apolgized about it and everything was all better. I forgive much to easily.

Well now I need to go get my "chores" done..yuck. Chores make me wanna die for sure.

(Lies)

Oh Em Geeeeeeeeeee [13 Jan 2007|01:59pm]
I can't get over how cute Thursday was!!!!
I absolutely loved every second of it! :) :) :) :)

(2 | Lies)

I don't think anyone uses livejournal anymore. [10 Jan 2007|09:29am]
Well my last post was on July 28 of 2006 that was quite sometime ago. And I read it and much like this post will be I feel like I am writing for the new yourk times or something. hah.

I don't want to go over the last five months entirely so we'll do a brief monthly update.
August I house sat and I stopped talking to Andrea it sucked but I got over it fast..Ew and I got a new job.
September sucked cause while everyone was going to school I did not and I actually got really depressed over it.
October Nothing special that I can remember.
November I started talking a lot more to this guy that I work with and he's far to old for me but like a care. And this month he broke up with his gf. Which leads us to...
December where he and I started hanging out a lot and I had a shitty xmas we won't even go there I wish it never happened. But then I thought I would be honest with my mom about the guy that I am "seeing" which was a mistake because she freaked the fuck out and called my dad and now I don't live there anymore!
January I wish this year brought better things but it didn't I live at my aunts and until today I thought things were going to be better but when I'm here its like I'm just spending the night and the I have to go back to my mom's tomorrow but I don't have to go back but sometimes I wanna go back. I dunno. But when I left my house my mom kept my car so I've seen that guy less and less. :(

I was so happy for about month too. I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up and be 35 and married with a good job and forget all of the inbetween. I wish that I was still in high school and my mom would keep telling my I can have a part time job but school is my full time job. I wish I had insurance so I could recieve medical attention. I need to get to work early and I need to make some money tonight. And I need a fucking car!!!!!

Physically I can't do this anymore. My body has taken enough.

(2 | Lies)

[30 Jul 2005|01:10am]

 

So Alyssa was pretending to be my boyfriend and yell at my nigger stalker, and this is the the turn out. He fucking lied about everything that stupid bitch!Collapse )

(Lies)

[30 Mar 2005|01:10pm]

ITS A BOY!!!!!!!!!

My Aunts baby was a BOY!!!!!

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[09 Mar 2005|10:05pm]
March 25th Lions Club @ 15 and Utica
A SUNDIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Lies)

Public fucking post. [10 Feb 2005|03:01pm]
Everyone needs to leave everyone the fuck alone. You do stupid shit and you blame it on other people. FUCK anybody who is mad at Alyssa! The one and only person you should be mad at is Zech! That fucking kid thinks he can get away with it. Well just fucking wait until I talk to his dumbass. He has no clue what in the hell is going on around here and how much shit he is causing. And if he does know and he's not trying to fix anything well that makes him a shittier person. Thank fucking god I didn't go to this stupid ass dance.

(2 | Lies)

[25 Oct 2004|09:34pm]
[ mood | as fuck! ]

Saw Jon Bon Jovi then John Kerry.
Sorry to those who I pissed off but I didn't wait in line for 2 hrs to just let you cut. Sorry.

Tomorrow should be fun......


http://www.prevolume.com/allaccess
Fucking sweet ass band check them out!
This time I am for real I love them <3

(Lies)

[12 Aug 2004|09:50pm]
[ mood | still grrr ]

Sorry about the last entry, I deleted.
Yeah I am really annoyed and I wanna kill everyone.
I did take some people off and I don't fucking care!
I am making this friends only and I did that already.
And I deleted like half my entries, yeah thats about it.

(4 | Lies)

[03 Aug 2004|03:36pm]
[ mood | dry ]

EagarToGrow has officially been DELETED!!!!!

I just thought I would inform everyone of this so add this damn journal hoebags!

(1 | Lies)

[28 Jul 2004|01:19pm]
[ mood | fresh ]

A new start to something great.
I hope.

Everyone please add me.

I might not make this one friends only.....yet.
But just add me anyways!

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